IN PRISON... you spend the majority of your time in an 8X10 cell.

AT WORK... you spend the majority of your time in a 6X8 desk cubicle.I

IN PRISON...you get time off for good behaviour.

AT WORK...you get more work for good behaviour.

IN PRISON...the guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.

AT WORK...you must carry around a security card and open all the doors for yourself.

IN PRISON...you can watch TV and play games.

AT WORK...you get fired for watching TV and playing games. IN PRISON...they allow your family and friends to visit

AT WORK...you can't even speak to your family on the phone.

IN PRISON...the taxpayers pay all expenses with no work required.

AT WORK...you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners. Have a Great Day at WORK - I'm going to PRISON!!!

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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.

In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

She again replied, ' Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'

Sincerely,
A Satisfied Taxpayer