"An Unexpected Gift" ~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`~`

One day as I was walking down the journey of my life, a woman passed along my path, angelic in every way, bronze colored skin, eyes so mesmerizing that I knew right from that moment, I had fallen in love.

A little shy a first I approached with confidence. The smile I received from this beautiful presence captured a memory that never went away............ but I did.

I remember the first kiss, and now I remember the last, and still from this day I miss her. I sometimes wonder why things are shown to us then for some reason there taken away without an explanation.

This woman so bright in character didn't have to say a word because the illumination said everything for her; she was an angel with tapered wings trying to get ahead, she was a stepping stone in my life, she was my princess ,she was the one who started the fire inside and as I walk through the air this flame still burns for this unexpected gift.

If I could turn back a page in my life, I would erase the confusion that taunted my mind, just so the path I walk upon now is not empty, and this feeling of her not walking with me would have been just a thought that would of never been created.

Life is a game, one big puzzle, analyzing each piece we come across and when one piece doesn't fit we learn and we keep searching. Well what happens when you instantly find that piece that does fit and everything around you feels like harmony and one day that piece disappears?

An "unexpected gift" I say!, cowered by my own insecurities, I shy away, from a gift that was handed to me. Confusion is a funny illusion, created within. And still, flashbacks remind me of how a simple deterrent caused me to lose something, handed to me with two hands wide open, without a reason, with no explanation, just an example of how we close our eyes and walk away.

I miss you , written words, just written words, with no meaning, my words, yet my words mean something to me. It's true emotion shining through, cascading through my mind trying to find that one sacred ground where I can finally feel peace. You are my peace; you make placid reality and I don't think you will ever know.

My heart will always have a key for you and through my thoughts where ever your at on your spiritual path, I bless you with my own purity; you are an angel with gifted wings trying to soar and when those two hand come together you will.

I wrote this for anyone who has met someone, who has touched their hearts and then they were taken to another path in life to discover their own destiny. This is called life, something that fits for a moment, then it's time to put the piece down because what you thought fit, well, it didn't fit yet.

As I walk this journey alone the flame inside will brightly display the place in my heart I keep open for the one true woman who taught me what love really meant. I will always love the Gift that was unexpected.

John D. Hyden

Feb 4, 2003

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Past to Present"

I'm about to take you through the mind of a child who became dysfunctional at the age of 9 the energy has been dropped inside the mold; the story of life is about to be told.

Flexible body thrown down on the motha fuckin' ground tears makin' visibility poor no sense to scream no one can see everybody likes the "We" except me

Body parts that aren't suppose to be seen touchin' my face makin' me scream
raping my mind stoppin' the watch holding my time exposin' my thought's on a level of
prime time

Runnin' and hiding through streets of pain fillin' with fear with nothin' to gain
I'm by myself and I'm all alone fucked up thoughts inside my home

But what do you do when your surrounded my hell anxious inside from a story to tell
I can feel the skin and I can feel the sin poisoned at birth on this earth I live

The stains of human waste were etched on my face I'm trying to run from two on one
they shut the door there goes the sun soaked in tears "Yo" forgot about fun
Peanut butter sickness and a Volkswagen Bug teary eyed child and an old green rug

The doors locked no place to run the key no where to be found but I hear a voice
what a beautiful sound to far into the past runnin' to the mic comin' in last

That voice unto be seen touchin' my face makin' me scream lockin' me up
erazin' my dream seein' the light feelin' the fright as I walk to the mic into
the night then the curtain so bright now deal with the light

Pumpin' my chest right makin' me feel right body is clinched tight makin' me
lose sight into my own fright why do I still write? backtrackin' the path right
into the night light "E" in the moonlight given me insight

Pushin' rewind tryin' to find backtrackin' my mind seein' the light on a level
of prime time kickin' the same rhyme into the same mind story of old time

Speakin' the same line I'm tired of runnin' from a line I see I'm ready to go
but my thoughts say no I'm on the mic but I lose control tryin' to find this
shackled soul

I keep runnin' and hidin' through streets of pain fillin' with fear with nothin'
to gain eyes are locked ain't it a shame to keep runnin' from a line I experienced
at 9

Please God let me out of this skin lead me away from this endless sin my eyes
are open and these thoughts stand still turn your back so I can swallow these pills
and run

Back to the beginning when I saw the sun I didn't see the fun scared little weasel
always on the run

And now I'm blank mentally blind analyzing every thought that I left behind
tryin' to find the past through these fuckin' rhymes pills kickin' in I'm racin'
with time

Watch every illusion two steps forward I got the conclusion on life and I'm ready
to die I've seen the rain and I've felt the pain and I've played the game

Pushin' rewind tryin' to find the moment in time where I can finally step forward
and cross that line

John D. Hyden

 

What is fame?

 

If we could walk backwards for a moment and relive fragments of the past knowing what we already knew and see it all over again, not changing anything, just watching and listening to each conversation we had with every new person we encounter down our paths, did you know why you were blessed with each individual?

 

It's like this and I've said some of these words in the past but remember that's where were at this particular time.

 

Each person that we encounter plays a role or in a spiritual sense, helps one take another step down that unfamiliar path that we must walk to find out why we were meant to exist. Each of us is created for some reason or another and like most we have questioned this during our journey, I know I have and I still haven't received this knowledge yet.

 

Would you want to know at the beginning?

 

I've been blessed with people in my life that have shared and gave me the courage to keep going, even when there were obstacles thrown on their paths and that's something you could never replace.

 

I've been asked many times down my journey, why do you want to be famous? And I could never answer that the way I wanted to. My answer was, I just want to live a comfortable life, and then I was drilled with...what is comfortable to you? Is it money? Is it a status, or do you just want people to go, "Hey there's John?

 

Well, it's like this my spiritual friends; this is what famous means to me. Famous is being blessed with people around you that love and care for you. Famous is knowing when your head is hanging a little low, the people around you are praying for a bright light in your life.

 

Fame is when someone calls you with a problem and you're the only person in his or her life with the answer and you can tell when that answer starts to absorb.

 

Fame has always been in my head even as a small child before I even knew what that word meant but the fame that was meant for me, I chose not to listen to that inner voice or the people around me, so the answer I tried seeking definitely wasn't going to revel itself until it was time.

 

I've been told many times by some beautiful friends of mine that you are famous in our eyes but that's not good enough is it? And what I felt inside, yes that is being famous; you can't trade that for someone you don't know wanting your autograph or crying over you that's never shared a close thought with you.

 

Fame is not waking up in the morning knowing that you could buy anything you want, because you could have bought the word materialistic and have no one around that holds a place in their heart for you.

Fame to me is a close circuit of friends that I can make laugh, or vise versa. Maybe one of us had a bad day and when we crossed paths the laughter took that earlier feeling away.

 

When I think of the word famous now, I think about being blessed with a beautiful person to share a life with, knowing that someday we will have our own family and the kids will look in your eyes and tell you that they love you for the first time. That's what famous means to me; I want my family to know that I've done the best that I could to make sure they didn't have to struggle knowing that they never went to bed with an empty stomach.

 

Everyone in life encounters things down their journey that has setbacks, dwellings from a past thought we are not ready to let go of but when we do, we will learn and finally start to move forward.

 

And last but not least....

 

Fame to me is knowing that God hears what you ask for, and he will give you what you need not what you want. And I guarantee, you will be happy with your blessings.

 

John Douglas Hyden